Let the Learning be the Reward
Thursday, September 14th, 2006By Mimi Rothschild
When I go to the grocery store, I often chuckle at the presence of the toy aisle that sits in between the dairy and bread isles. I inevitably see parents pacifying their children at the end of a trip to the grocery store with a new toy, “for being good.” I guess most parents think it’s worth the $2.00 to buy some peace and quiet, in addition to the removal of embarrassment from being seen parenting an obnoxious child.
Children are rewarded with ice cream if they finish their vegetables. I know of one young man who was promised the car of his choice on his 16th birthday if he would only get straight A’s. He never did get that car.
Of course, it’s not easy to see the detriment of this habit. The child comes to expect more and more just for not throwing a tantrum. It doesn’t take long before the parents are no longer able to provide that pacifier. Young people go out in the world pursuing pleasures that their parents can’t offer.
I see a similar problem within our system of education. Students are given pizza parties when they finish books and promised candy for behaving. As a result, kids see reading and learning to be a means to an end; a chore to struggle through just to acquire the prize. Children choose the easiest books to read just to make the quota.
There is an alternative! Let the learning be the reward itself. My children are all voracious readers. They have an inherent desire to learn because I don’t impose it as a chore. My youngest children don’t see books as a way to getting to the TV. My oldest children don’t see them as a way to get into college.
As per usual, the homeschooling environment is the richest soil for this kind of learning. Children are driven by internal motivators at their own pace. Compare this to the traditional schooling model. Children are given a mass-produced education with no concern put into tailoring the education for the unique needs of each child. It is the educational equivalent of shoving square pegs through a round hole. Pubic school teachers often end up acting as nothing more than a source of pacification, not unlike the parents at the grocery store mentioned above. They get paid just to make sure kids meet embarrassingly low standards. Homeschool parents, on the other hand, are able to devote time and energy into cultivating a desire to learn and grow.
Now, I’m not being naïve. There are times when students will be stubborn and a little enforcement is required. The key however, is not offering rewards for proper behavior, but punishing children for ill behavior. If your children are anything like mine, you will find that punishments will come few and far between. Their desire to learn almost always supersedes their desire to not be punished. In fact, you might even find yourself using a confiscation of books to be the most effective punishment!